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I really want to buy a gun, but i'm afraid that if I do I might shoot someone in one of my fits of rage
Sometimes I tell my friends their outfits look good when I really do not like them so that I will look better than them when we go out.
I am secretly sooo jealous of my avatar
one night i made my one friend do a shot of the most horrific-tasting, cheap liquor i could find. meanwhile everyone else did shots of water. she almost threw up on the kitchen island. at the time i thought i was pretty clever but it was kind of an asshole thing to do
When I was younger and I woke up in the middle of the night, sleep-walked into my older brothers bedroom, got up onto his bed, and starting peeing directly on him because I thought it was the bathroom. He started yelling at me (still didnt wake me up) and my parents ran in to see what was going on. They yelled at me to stop and my response was "Im not done yet." Every so often this story gets brought up at family gatherings and we share a good laugh. To this day I havent told anyone that I was really awake and did it on purpose because I was mad at him.
every time my dick roommate does something annoying i spit in his shampoo
I like to watch blowjob porn to get turned on, and then I rub one out while looking in the mirror. It really gets my juices flowing watching myself.
The other night I was so drunk I peed the bed but didn't feel like washing the sheets so I woke my girlfriend up, acted annoyed and convinced her that she did it. She felt so bad that she even made me breakfast the next morning.
My brother an his wife listed me as a reference with their adoption agency. I gave them a bad review so they got denied and have no idea why. I know that they are both very upset but my sister-in-law is a bitch and I cannot stand the thought of her raising a child!
I pretended to be sleeping and didn't open the door when I knew my roommate was locked out of the apartment.
I had sex with my ex to get back at his new girlfriend. I have herpes.
Stole my company credit card and went on a 3 day bender in AC. Said I was hosting japanese execs who came in town randomly. I think I have a problem.
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